Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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