Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
