is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
