so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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