So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
