let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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