I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
