i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
try to milk me bitch
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