So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So much Jack, so little girl.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
