Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
