You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
