Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
...so i touched it.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
