no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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