Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize