you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
