Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
