So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
