Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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