seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize