i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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