Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
