Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
