just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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