Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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