i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
