Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
