you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
