i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
