everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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