we have pet lesbian snakes
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
