About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize