so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I need to calm my uterus...
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
