i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
