C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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