For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
