...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
