the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You can't just leave with hair like that
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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