Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize