I like to think it a success when the cops are called
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
