why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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