So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
