i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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