1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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