we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
