No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
