She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
