Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
