My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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