if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Panties = found
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
