And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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