I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
