Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
