Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
