FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
