It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
