So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I will be naked everywhere
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
