I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
