on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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