Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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