Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize